Days 10 and 11: Hitting a wall

Yesterday night, I came home and almost cried. Though my hatha class was great, I was exhausted, beat down and ready to just call it a day. I was proud of myself for getting a third of the way through my challenge, but my body was telling me I needed to sleep.

So I did, and this morning I woke up rejuvenated and ready for the day. I went for a run, and then headed to hot yoga. It was a different instructor this time, and much different crowd. While my evening class is closer to my age, this group tended to be quite a bit older. In some ways this was inspiring because it proves that yoga is good for all age groups, but it was certainly disconcerting to see a woman in her 60s do a better dancers pose than I can do. I tried, and that was all that matters.

And then my husband called. He was in the emergency room because he couldn't stop shivering and his entire body ached. Being me, my mind immediately went to the worst possible thing I could think of, which was meningitis. I nearly dropped my entire basket of groceries in the middle of Safeway, but I knew that would do no good so I finished my shopping and then headed to the hospital.

Four hours, several blood tests and an IV later, he apparently has a case of the flu. After sleeping for four hours, he's feeling much better and is drinking Pedialyte, Gatorade and soup, and says his headache is going away with the help of Tylenol and Advil.

I on the other hand am popping some melatonin and hitting the sack, because now I have a headache of my own, brought on by the usual culprits of tension and stress. I hate hospitals; people close to me die in hospitals, and walking into that emergency ward desperately hoping my husband was okay was a body blow.

As I said earlier this week, I love my husband, for everything he is and everything he will be. I don't want to live without him, and I cannot imagine a day without him in it. Today, I used my yoga breathing to calm myself down, and not let outsiders know how scared I was. My mantra of "relax, release" worked to prevent me from outwardly panicking, and for that I owe a lot to my yogis; every single one of them.

Perhaps yoga really does work outside of the studio.