Day 1

The first day of my 30-day yoga practice had its good points and its bad points.

The class began, as always, by the teacher telling us to choose an intention for the practice, and for the rest of the day. Today mine was "just breathe", something I plan to continue for the rest of the week. Though it sounds mildly ridiculous, breathing can be really hard sometimes. It's something that everyone does without thinking, so slowing down and actually thinking and hearing your breath go in and out is something I need to concentrate on over the next 29 days.

Over the course of the hour, I was able to actually let go of my thoughts and outside stresses, which is definitely one of my goals. However, my insecurities about my flexibility and my body were still in full force.

It is frustrating to know that my flexibility hampers me from doing many of the poses to the greatest effect. I can't do dancers pose, I can't touch my toes without bending my knees, and I definitely can't do eagle pose (which I've discovered I hate.) I know one of my intentions with this challenge is to increase my flexibility, but I'm scared that it will never happen and I will continue to be completely inflexible.

It was also very hard to stand there surrounded by all these skinny women and see what I perceive as my chubby belly. Tight yoga clothing does my body no favours, but hot yoga cannot be done in sweats. It seems that no matter how well I eat and how much I exercise, my belly will not disappear. It's the way I'm shaped, and where I store my fat. And it's sad, because I'm not there to compare my body to others, but today I couldn't help but notice it. And I was worried that the other women were judging me for both of my problems (flexibility and the belly.)

Perhaps that insecurity will go away as well.